Butterflies (TAG: Lilith)

Lotus stood with her hooves deep in a mound of mud, the sky grey and heavy above her. The wind pricked at her forelock, dragging it in a tangled dance over her bad eye. It was irritating, but at just this moment she had far more irritating matters to ponder and stew over. Or, matter, she corrected herself as she stared out from her semi-sheltered little copse of trees. She gave her mane a determined shake, sending flecks of raindrops flying into the trunks around her. This was it. She was going to do this. She was going to do this now.

Right now, she told herself, trying to compel her hooves to move forward as her baby blues fixated on a dappled figure in the distance. Nnnnnnnow. Her hoof twitched, but otherwise completely ignored the half-hearted instructions her terror-stricken brain was sending them.

In the distance, Lilith's beautiful neck curled like a crane toward the grass covered ground, her pretty hooves poking petite holes in the mud, her shapely white head flicked her forelock sideways as her rosey eyes -- did something. Lotus was too far off to see what exactly she was looking at, but she imagined it was anything but her, which made her simultaneously relieved and green with envy.

Okaynow! she told herself quickly, trying to trick her hooves into moving forward. It worked, she took a few quick, proud steps forward, out of the shelter of the trees, head held high and feathers flicking with triumph -- before her nerves seized and she froze solid.

"What are you doing, Lotus?" she moaned to herself, turning sharply on her heel and taking a few steps back toward the copse. "She doesn't want to know. You're five. In comparison. And she's a beautiful, mature woman. She doesn't want to babysit some filly."

She dug her hooves into the dirt, spun back around with renewed determination as a wave of bravery washed over her in the form of a counter argument. She took a few more steps toward Lilith's pretty speckled form, only a few leagues away. "ON the other hand," she told herself, "you never know. Maybe she does like you, and she's good at hiding it. She'd be crazy not to; you're pretty. You're cheeky. You're adorable when you smile and you're -- completely deluding herself."

She spun back around and trotted back to the copse, eyes squeezed shut, trying to force out the thousand voices shouting in her conflicted brain. She pulled them open again, found Lilith among the others. "Okay, no! You're doing this! Fast and painless. Like pulling off tree sap." She took a few determined steps forward, and came to a screeching halt in the mud. "DAMMIT LOTUS!" she snapped at herself as the butterflies erupted in her stomach. "Just go! It's not that hard! Who the hell are you and what are you looking at?" she snarled at a stallion, starring at her like she was completely mad. "Look away or loose your eyeballs. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think so, you sunnuvabetch!" she snapped after him as he moved away, clearly not wanting to catch her crazy.

She looked briefly back toward Lilith -- and froze solid, as the pink eyes met her own.